Lodger

So. I have a lodger. Even though they moved in more than six months ago, I still don’t think I’ve got into the swing of it. I’d never met them before they moved in, so the whole thing was a bit of a gamble to be honest. However, my housemate said she’d take some time off at the beginning to make sure things went smoothly (it’s a fairly big thing, having someone move in, after all). You’d have thought by now I’d have gotten used to it.

However, there have been some… issues. They haven’t lived in the area before, and their English isn’t good. I’m really struggling to understand them, and I’m not sure they understand me, either. Despite this, they are REALLY needy, always wanting to talk, taking up my time and getting in the way. They keep weird hours and wake me up pretty much every night with their overly loud voice and incomprehensible, irritating whining, with seemingly no comprehension of the effect they’re having on me. It’s almost as if they’ve got nothing better to do; no real structure to their time (they certainly don’t work). I know they’re on benefits, and although most of that goes to us in rent, the financial knock on effects of them being here is starting to take the piss.

I get the impression that they don’t really have any friends in the area other than the ones we introduce them to (which I have to since they seem to always come with us to engagements, even when it really isn’t convenient). They have really bad taste in music, and insist on listening to the same repetitive, cheesy songs on their crap stereo system. If I try and turn this off, they often get really angry and shout at me, again in their unfamiliar dialect. There have been times when it’s put strain on my relationship with my housemate, and we often argue about how to deal with them. More recently, I’ve noticed that they’ve started stealing my food out of the fridge without replacing it or offering any payment – that’s just not on, is it? They’re getting more and more messy AND they expect me to do their washing and clear up after them. I’ve tried talking to them about all these things, but they’re not interested, or pretend to listen and then get distracted by something and stop paying attention. Even when they do listen, they don’t change their behavior, which is infuriating.

They are, by far, the most unreasonable, noisy, inconsiderate, expensive and occasionally aggressive houseguest I’ve ever entertained. And they’re going to live with me for decades.

My lodger is my seven month old daughter and is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I love her more than anything I’ve ever known.